Ash Thoreau

I love myself as a mom. I feel like I’m still a kid, mentally, but that I was forced to grow up in some aspects… Grow up in the best ways. I’m suddenly someone’s default role model and I have to try to forgive myself for not being perfect. I have tried to stop the self deprecating comments that are rooted in self hate.

The best example I can give is in photographs. I can remember being a little kid, watching my mom hate being photographed because she was not happy with her appearance. I didn’t understand why she acted this way when I saw her as the most beautiful woman on the planet. Now I look at myself and see hundreds of flaws, hating almost every shot I’m pictured in. I do not want my to grow up having that worry. So I constantly hold my tongue now. I still hate the image but she doesn’t need that know that.

Other things have changed since becoming a mother that I won’t get into. The short answer: my kid is forcing me to be the best version of myself. It’s the best experience I’ve ever had, and I think I’m a great mom.

It’s just so much fun.