Ash Thoreau

I think my kid is having anxiety attacks and it breaks my fucking heart.

Tonight she was throwing a full on tantrum. She wanted to watch her show but every time I turned it on, she’d start screaming. So I would turn it off. She’d start screaming more. We continued in this fashion for about 10 minutes. At one point I just put her tablet away. She continued to scream, begging for the tablet back.

On a whim, in the middle of her crying and screaming, I asked her, “does the sound scare you?” She immediately calmed down and said “yeah,” clear as day. Dread settled in the pit of my stomach.

So I told her I would turn her show on with the sound off. She laid down and smiled immediately. I turned her muted show on and told her I would turn the volume up slowly if she wanted. She agreed again and started grabbing for her tablet on volume 1.

I’m hoping I’m reading too much into the situation. She’s only 2.5 years old… But honestly, I remember getting panic attacks at around her age based on the house I was living in at the time.

I’m hoping like hell I didn’t pass on my screwed up anxiety to her. The only thing that gives me solace is I will at least be able to help her sooner.